जब-२ लगे कि बहुत पाठ पढ़ लिए हैं मैंने.
तब-२ तू मुझे एक नया पाठ पढ़ाती है,
जब-2 मुझे लगे कि बहुत दुनिया देखी ली है मैंने.
तब-२ एक नयी दुनिया दिखा के , तू मुझे दुबारा हैरत मे लाती है.
यूँ तो मेरा सोचा हुआ अक्सर मुझे नसीब नहीं होता,
दिल का बुना हुआ मेरा ख्वाब अक्सर पूरा नहीं होता,
और जब मैं तुझसे हार के ख्वाब बुनना छोड़ दूं.
ठीक उसी पल तू मुझे एक नया ख्वाब दिखाती है ,
और जब मैं इसे तेरा एक झूठा दिलासा समझ के इससे दूर जाना चाहूँ,
तब आशाओं की सुनहरी सेज दिखा कर तू मुझमे सपनों के पूरा होने की नयी उम्मीद जगाती है,
मैंने अपने सपनो के पूरा करने के लिए पूरा दम लगाया है,
औरों की क्या बात करूँ, मैंने तो तुझपे भी दांव लगाया है,.
इन सबके बाद भी अगर कभी मेरा ख्वाब पूरा ना हो,तब तू मुझे बहुत सताती है,
मेरी हार मे मेरी गलतियाँ दिखा कर, तू मुझे खुद पर हसांती है,
सुख-दुःख तो जीवन के दो पहलू है, ये तो चलते रहेंगे,
मेरे ख्वाब कभी आकाश तो कभी धरा पर रहेंगे,
पर इन सबमे तेरी मुझसे ये आँख मिंचोली, मुझे बहुत भाती है,
दुःख के समय मे भी तुझसे जीतने की चाह,मुझमे हमेशा एक नया हौसला जगाती है,
और जब-२ लगे कि बहुत पाठ पढ़ लिए हैं मैंने.
तब-२ तू मुझे एक नया पाठ पढ़ाती है,
जब-2 मुझे लगे कि बहुत दुनिया देखी ली है मैंने.
तब-२ एक नयी दुनिया दिखा के , तू मुझे दुबारा हैरत मे लाती है...
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
Thursday, August 12, 2010
ADDICTION
“The event is over now and I am going to celebrate the success of event” he said to me. I was also happy as my friend got the reward for his hard work and was satisfied with the event. Then I asked him “so what is your plan for celebration??” then he replied “we have sent some guys to the market to get some “adult’s cold drink” and then we would be having the cocktail party”. Now this was the statement which inspired me to think upon this topic seriously and to write upon it.
Actually the thought which was banging in my mind for last few years that “how the people relate their activities and incidences of their life with their addiction, how they make it(addiction) as a very important part of their life”. Some of the popular lines often said by the people are :-
1. “Its time to celebrate now, let’s have a cocktail party”.
2. Yar, I am very tensed now, please get some cigarettes or some “adult’s cold drink” for me.
3. Yar, I think I have grown up now. I should try this cigarette or “adult’s cold drink”.
“ isme to apni alag hi tashan hoti”
I have seen in many of the cases that initially many of the people try cigarette or “adult’s cold drink” just for some special occasions only but slowly they just relate it with incidences of their life and get themselves in such situation from where it becomes so tough to come out from this situation.
I just ask to them “ ok, you are happy, you must celebrate . But how would this “adult’s cold drink” help you to celebrate?? Celebration means getting together with your friends, with the people whose team effort gave you the chance for celebration, with the persons who are really happy in your happiness. In all these what is the role of that “adult’s cold drink”. Should it be as important that now it is giving you the chance to meet your well wishers?? I don’t think that it should.. do you??
I accept that you are tensed, frustrated by the circumstances around you, so you need to give time to yourself, to go through the real cause of the problem and get the solution of the problem but how would this cigarette help you come from that situation? Would it give you the solution of your problem or would it improve your concentration?? I don’t think so.
Yes, you have grown up now, so it means that you need to behave with maturity, you should be aware with the responsibilities which are coming towards you, but in no case it should be related with your habit of cigarette etc.( “aur isme koi tashan ki baat ni hoti hai”)
These were the only few examples of that how the people relate themselves, their habit to addiction.
People often say that “ yar, I don’t want to do this but society mai reh ke ye sab karna padhta hai” now I ask to them that if society would ask you to compromise with your morals, your principles, would you accept to do it??If your morals do not allow to do something then why do you do it?? Please don’t let that peer pressure to get over you. Only you (and up to some extent your well wishers) should be responsible for your decisions, never let the society to decide your step, just be yourself.
Generally people when talk about the addiction, they just limit themselves up to that cigarette etc. only but it is not so. Addiction may be mental addiction too that you are addicted to do something at any rate and at any cost. You are in such a habit of talking to someone or doing anything that once you don’t get that then it becomes so tough for you to live normally, it is also an addiction. Mental addiction is nevertheless less dangerous than that addiction, in fact in many cases it (mental) is more dangerous than other kind of addiction.
Friends, life is too long, we would have to go through the various phases of life, would come across through various incidences so don’t relate it with your addiction because everything has its limit and if once that limit is crossed then it would definitely create some problem and generally addiction crosses that limit. I am not saying that drinking, smoking or getting in habit of something is bad thing.. no, it is your choice only whether to go for it or not. But please do not relate it with your those incidences , do not give credit of your addiction to that incidences.
PS: in starting of this article, I just told about my friend. My friend was moving towards addiction…but finally knowing my thoughts, going through the concept of this article, he has decided to not to do it again and his this decision gave me enormous pleasure and the ending of this article in real sense..:)
Actually the thought which was banging in my mind for last few years that “how the people relate their activities and incidences of their life with their addiction, how they make it(addiction) as a very important part of their life”. Some of the popular lines often said by the people are :-
1. “Its time to celebrate now, let’s have a cocktail party”.
2. Yar, I am very tensed now, please get some cigarettes or some “adult’s cold drink” for me.
3. Yar, I think I have grown up now. I should try this cigarette or “adult’s cold drink”.
“ isme to apni alag hi tashan hoti”
I have seen in many of the cases that initially many of the people try cigarette or “adult’s cold drink” just for some special occasions only but slowly they just relate it with incidences of their life and get themselves in such situation from where it becomes so tough to come out from this situation.
I just ask to them “ ok, you are happy, you must celebrate . But how would this “adult’s cold drink” help you to celebrate?? Celebration means getting together with your friends, with the people whose team effort gave you the chance for celebration, with the persons who are really happy in your happiness. In all these what is the role of that “adult’s cold drink”. Should it be as important that now it is giving you the chance to meet your well wishers?? I don’t think that it should.. do you??
I accept that you are tensed, frustrated by the circumstances around you, so you need to give time to yourself, to go through the real cause of the problem and get the solution of the problem but how would this cigarette help you come from that situation? Would it give you the solution of your problem or would it improve your concentration?? I don’t think so.
Yes, you have grown up now, so it means that you need to behave with maturity, you should be aware with the responsibilities which are coming towards you, but in no case it should be related with your habit of cigarette etc.( “aur isme koi tashan ki baat ni hoti hai”)
These were the only few examples of that how the people relate themselves, their habit to addiction.
People often say that “ yar, I don’t want to do this but society mai reh ke ye sab karna padhta hai” now I ask to them that if society would ask you to compromise with your morals, your principles, would you accept to do it??If your morals do not allow to do something then why do you do it?? Please don’t let that peer pressure to get over you. Only you (and up to some extent your well wishers) should be responsible for your decisions, never let the society to decide your step, just be yourself.
Generally people when talk about the addiction, they just limit themselves up to that cigarette etc. only but it is not so. Addiction may be mental addiction too that you are addicted to do something at any rate and at any cost. You are in such a habit of talking to someone or doing anything that once you don’t get that then it becomes so tough for you to live normally, it is also an addiction. Mental addiction is nevertheless less dangerous than that addiction, in fact in many cases it (mental) is more dangerous than other kind of addiction.
Friends, life is too long, we would have to go through the various phases of life, would come across through various incidences so don’t relate it with your addiction because everything has its limit and if once that limit is crossed then it would definitely create some problem and generally addiction crosses that limit. I am not saying that drinking, smoking or getting in habit of something is bad thing.. no, it is your choice only whether to go for it or not. But please do not relate it with your those incidences , do not give credit of your addiction to that incidences.
PS: in starting of this article, I just told about my friend. My friend was moving towards addiction…but finally knowing my thoughts, going through the concept of this article, he has decided to not to do it again and his this decision gave me enormous pleasure and the ending of this article in real sense..:)
Saturday, July 31, 2010
IDENTITY
You found yourself into me
You treated me as u wished to be treated
but was it the correct way to meet me??
things never bothered you when It happened with me
it bothered when you co- related it with your self
but was it the correct way to identify me??
I was happy because you had comfort with me
but was not knowing the fact that
you were just happy with yourself which you found into me..
I never had your shoulder to cry,
you seldom smiled with smile of mine
was it the correct way of being a friend of mine???
today you have moved ahead, i am happy for it
may u achieve all your dreams, would always pray for it
but in all these you have lost friendship of mine..
You treated me as u wished to be treated
but was it the correct way to meet me??
things never bothered you when It happened with me
it bothered when you co- related it with your self
but was it the correct way to identify me??
I was happy because you had comfort with me
but was not knowing the fact that
you were just happy with yourself which you found into me..
I never had your shoulder to cry,
you seldom smiled with smile of mine
was it the correct way of being a friend of mine???
today you have moved ahead, i am happy for it
may u achieve all your dreams, would always pray for it
but in all these you have lost friendship of mine..
Wednesday, July 28, 2010
HAPPY B'DAY ANKIT
Now if I simply look at one face of my life then I feel that this year whatever I wanted, I wished or I prayed for..i could not have it..whether it be related to some of my pals, or my love . In fact in my professional life also, people raised question on me in such a pathetic manner that once it just killed my passion for my works, for my duties, for my responsibilities. I had never been such kind of guy who likes to run-away from his duty..but I did this..shamed on myself, but I did this..and in all these some of my good friends were with them..i failed to win their faith, their trust…I believe that if my friend did not trust me then it was my fault only because I could not win his heart. Now we are just class-mate, share a very formal relationship and now I am ok with it and hope they will be fine in their lives. So at the end of this year, my friendship with those friends has failed.
I am not going to discuss my love life here but at the end of this year, I will consider it as a failure too..not just because that it was one sided, not just because that it could not go to its destination ..but because that we had never such level of relation, such level of closeness as I assumed about it..so it was kind of base- less feeling. So this was my second failure.
Now , coming to my third failure..as a vice-chairman of my society..some of my colleagues, my juniors resigned from the society..whatever be the reason, but they resigned but I could not stop them to do it..i tried a lot..but failed..another disappointment.. one of my colleague resigned from the society just because that she had problem with me…she was very hard-working..and had a dedication for the society..and today also i respect her for her dedication..but she also resigned..people raised question on my loyalty, on my passion, on each-everything..but even after so many efforts also..failed to win their heart..my third failure.
The biggest failure of this year was failure of my morals. I love and respect my morals..but this moment of time, it failed and I had to re think about my morals. Which was one of the biggest pain I ever had..but this year, I had to go through it.
There were also many minor failures… which I am not going to discuss here. They were minor one..but were sufficient enough to disturb me from my aims.
so this was the one face of the coin, the face which is seen by my mind..the face which tells that I am the loser, I totally lost..
but look at other face which is seen by my heart..which says..this year i met with ankit..met in such a way that now I know ankit completely.In last 6 months, I talked a lot to myself, came to know a lot about my-self. I always considered myself as a quite extrovert guy..but in last 6 months ..i came to know that I am quite introvert. I tried to search my happiness in smiles of others which is morally right..but wrong in this physical world..i was always correct in front of myself…but could not be able to prove it in front of others and now it does not even matter for me. This year, I almost remembered all the incidences, phases of my life..tried a lot to know answers of all the questions..and at the end of this year, I almost have..first good news from this year.
In the field of friendship also, if I lost some friends then I gained few too may be in true sense..because they know ankit..understand and respect the morals of ankit..some juniors also turned as good friend of mine..some old friends got closer to me..second good news from this year.
I ran away from my responsibilities..but now I have got the reason to start over again because now I had a lesson from all those incidences..i have sweet memories and lessons both.
Today my heart says this year you met yourself..which is sufficient enough to bring smiles on your face and a reason to move ahead…which is quite bigger than all your failures.
Today I don’t have any reason for joy..but a strong will to move ahead.
Today I don’t have any hard feeling for life..but a strong will to fight with the obstacles which is to be faced by me.
And, I know I will win.
Now it was 11:45 p.m…and wishes has started to come…so I came out from this reminiscence..and now its time to say “HAPPY B’DAY ANKIT” ..:)
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
A Sweet Memory
This weekend, I had a chance to visit mussorie and I did not want it to go in vain, just wanted to grasp the opportunity with my both hands. So I came to dehradoon, stayed along with one of my friend at his relative’s house..well I am the kind of the guy who usually does not prefer to go anyone’s house until and unless I have great level of intimacy with the person but I am really thankful to my friend because there I met with a lady who really taught me some great things about life, a very positive way of perception about life, something very inspirational, something very illuminating.
We humans are very condition conscious…if all the things go in our favor, we just enjoy, but if in any case it does not , then we just cease our movement, blame to God. Very less no. people maintain their positive attitude at that time also… we lose all our hopes, forget all whether it be our responsibilities or the people whose smiles are attached with our smile, just finish ourselves.. but here I met with this lady , saw her way of perception and it really impressed me.
Lady, whose husband died five year before in a road accident. He left a daughter and lady in his family. He was the only breadwinner of his family. After death of her husband, she got many hands to support her, offer to live with her relatives etc, but this lady did not compromise with her self-respect.. thought to live her life in her own way. So this lady joined job in his husband’s office which was offered by government..started to live along with her daughter and to get some more financial security, started a side business too. The tragedy which was faced by her, could not be able to stop her from dreaming and setting a new goals for her life. I have seen many ladies who after death of their husband do not be able to come out from the tragedy..but this lady really turned round the things. The lady started to work properly in the office and side by side on her business too…now today, her business is running on good condition..the best part is that along with doing all these things, she manages her home very well too. Those mother-daughter are the best friend of each-other..the lady knows all the things which are going on in her daughter’s school or in her dance classes and the daughter knows all the scenario of her mother’s job and business. In her(lady) busy schedule of office and business, she has a time to watch movie along with her daughter, she has time for her daughter’s dances etc . The lady is enjoying her life perfectly along with her daughter…set a new set of ‘amway’..and would definitely achieve all…my best wishes are with her.
So this was the story, which I saw this weekend… but what I learnt ,was something more than it..you know we people always get 100 reasons to smile and one reason to be sad..but we ignore those 100 reasons, we just think about that single reason.. which is sufficient enough for disturbing us, just taking us away from our goal, our responsibilities. I am not saying that we should not bother about that single reason.. no, not all..we must care about that single reason, must learn a lesson from that phase (which is the actual reason behind every sad phase of the life)..but must not bring stoppage in our life.
You know the best and the worst part about the time is the same..and it is “ it never stops”..it just goes on and goes on and the same is with life too…so when all the things are going on..then why should we stop..we must move ahead, must dream ahead.
If someone special (whether it be your father or mother or sister or other) went away from your life and if then, you cease moving ahead then it is surely the insult of the love, care that you had from that person. It is surely the insult of wonderful relation that you had with that person.. you know, the person does not go anywhere , his/her soul always remain somewhere around you.. just to see what you are doing actually. Now the person has gone then it is your time now..take your responsibilities, apply the things what you actually learnt from that person, spread the love what you actually had from that person.
That lady taught me to seek happiness in every lovely moment we live.. and learn a lesson in every bad moment we face. The lady taught me how to be positive in every phase and how to dream ahead.
We people dream something and if it does not fulfill, it just cause poignant in our life..but this lady taught me “ believe in your dreams” and improve yourself to achieve your dreams..and even if you don’t get your dream then also you have improved now.. which itself is a quite big achievement, a real sense of achieving of your dreams…and this reason is sufficient enough to bring smiles on your face.
Life is journey and in this journey we meet with many people…so enjoy meeting with each and every person…move along with those people till the destiny takes you both..and the best part about this journey is that at the end of each journey either you would be having sweet memories or a very good lesson so either a reason to move ahead or a reason to start all over again..but you would have something and that’s for sure.
So after this trip, my positive attitude which was deteriorating, came back and I just remembered my journey till now and I realized that after each phase of journey, I really had something..either it was sweet memory or a very good lesson but I had something, the real reasons to move ahead..:)
We humans are very condition conscious…if all the things go in our favor, we just enjoy, but if in any case it does not , then we just cease our movement, blame to God. Very less no. people maintain their positive attitude at that time also… we lose all our hopes, forget all whether it be our responsibilities or the people whose smiles are attached with our smile, just finish ourselves.. but here I met with this lady , saw her way of perception and it really impressed me.
Lady, whose husband died five year before in a road accident. He left a daughter and lady in his family. He was the only breadwinner of his family. After death of her husband, she got many hands to support her, offer to live with her relatives etc, but this lady did not compromise with her self-respect.. thought to live her life in her own way. So this lady joined job in his husband’s office which was offered by government..started to live along with her daughter and to get some more financial security, started a side business too. The tragedy which was faced by her, could not be able to stop her from dreaming and setting a new goals for her life. I have seen many ladies who after death of their husband do not be able to come out from the tragedy..but this lady really turned round the things. The lady started to work properly in the office and side by side on her business too…now today, her business is running on good condition..the best part is that along with doing all these things, she manages her home very well too. Those mother-daughter are the best friend of each-other..the lady knows all the things which are going on in her daughter’s school or in her dance classes and the daughter knows all the scenario of her mother’s job and business. In her(lady) busy schedule of office and business, she has a time to watch movie along with her daughter, she has time for her daughter’s dances etc . The lady is enjoying her life perfectly along with her daughter…set a new set of ‘amway’..and would definitely achieve all…my best wishes are with her.
So this was the story, which I saw this weekend… but what I learnt ,was something more than it..you know we people always get 100 reasons to smile and one reason to be sad..but we ignore those 100 reasons, we just think about that single reason.. which is sufficient enough for disturbing us, just taking us away from our goal, our responsibilities. I am not saying that we should not bother about that single reason.. no, not all..we must care about that single reason, must learn a lesson from that phase (which is the actual reason behind every sad phase of the life)..but must not bring stoppage in our life.
You know the best and the worst part about the time is the same..and it is “ it never stops”..it just goes on and goes on and the same is with life too…so when all the things are going on..then why should we stop..we must move ahead, must dream ahead.
If someone special (whether it be your father or mother or sister or other) went away from your life and if then, you cease moving ahead then it is surely the insult of the love, care that you had from that person. It is surely the insult of wonderful relation that you had with that person.. you know, the person does not go anywhere , his/her soul always remain somewhere around you.. just to see what you are doing actually. Now the person has gone then it is your time now..take your responsibilities, apply the things what you actually learnt from that person, spread the love what you actually had from that person.
That lady taught me to seek happiness in every lovely moment we live.. and learn a lesson in every bad moment we face. The lady taught me how to be positive in every phase and how to dream ahead.
We people dream something and if it does not fulfill, it just cause poignant in our life..but this lady taught me “ believe in your dreams” and improve yourself to achieve your dreams..and even if you don’t get your dream then also you have improved now.. which itself is a quite big achievement, a real sense of achieving of your dreams…and this reason is sufficient enough to bring smiles on your face.
Life is journey and in this journey we meet with many people…so enjoy meeting with each and every person…move along with those people till the destiny takes you both..and the best part about this journey is that at the end of each journey either you would be having sweet memories or a very good lesson so either a reason to move ahead or a reason to start all over again..but you would have something and that’s for sure.
So after this trip, my positive attitude which was deteriorating, came back and I just remembered my journey till now and I realized that after each phase of journey, I really had something..either it was sweet memory or a very good lesson but I had something, the real reasons to move ahead..:)
Friday, July 9, 2010
Sun Le Meri Rooh..
वो है अम्बर, तो मै हूँ धरा,
वो है सागर, तो मै हूँ एक मामूली सा घड़ा,
ये सब जब मैं समझ सकता हूँ, तो तू क्यूँ नहीं मान पाता,
तू मेरा साया हो कर भी मेरे साथ क्यूँ नहीं चल पाता,
हर चीज़ जो इंसान चाहता है, वो उसे नहीं मिलता,
जीवन के इस दस्तूर को तू क्यों नहीं समझ पाता,
तू भी जानता है कि तू मुझसे हार जाएगा एक दिन,
तो मुझसे अभी ही ख़ुशी-२ हाथ क्यूँ नहीं मिला पाता,
मैंने तो अपना जीवन नहीं रोका है,मैं तो जी रहा हूँ.
दर्द के बारे मे बिलकुल ना सोच कर मैं तो हँस रहा हूँ.,
फिर तू क्यूँ नहीं हँस पाता,मेरा हमसफ़र क्यूँ नहीं बन पाता,
मुझे तो तेरी नासमझी पर गुस्सा नहीं, अब तो तरस आता है,
तेरा साथ छोड़ के तुझसे भी दूर जाने का दिल चाहता है,
जल्दी से सब समझ कर मेरे साथ आ जा,
वरना मैं तो तुझे यहीं छोड़ के आगे बढ़ चलूँगा,
मेरी लड़ाई तो किस्मत से है, तुझसे अलग रह के भी मैं जंग जीत लूँगा,
मेरे सामने अपनी अहमियत जानकर भी तू मुझसे क्यूँ है लड़ना चाहता,
मेरे जीवन के इस पड़ाव को तू क्यूँ नहीं समझना चाहता....
वो है सागर, तो मै हूँ एक मामूली सा घड़ा,
ये सब जब मैं समझ सकता हूँ, तो तू क्यूँ नहीं मान पाता,
तू मेरा साया हो कर भी मेरे साथ क्यूँ नहीं चल पाता,
हर चीज़ जो इंसान चाहता है, वो उसे नहीं मिलता,
जीवन के इस दस्तूर को तू क्यों नहीं समझ पाता,
तू भी जानता है कि तू मुझसे हार जाएगा एक दिन,
तो मुझसे अभी ही ख़ुशी-२ हाथ क्यूँ नहीं मिला पाता,
मैंने तो अपना जीवन नहीं रोका है,मैं तो जी रहा हूँ.
दर्द के बारे मे बिलकुल ना सोच कर मैं तो हँस रहा हूँ.,
फिर तू क्यूँ नहीं हँस पाता,मेरा हमसफ़र क्यूँ नहीं बन पाता,
मुझे तो तेरी नासमझी पर गुस्सा नहीं, अब तो तरस आता है,
तेरा साथ छोड़ के तुझसे भी दूर जाने का दिल चाहता है,
जल्दी से सब समझ कर मेरे साथ आ जा,
वरना मैं तो तुझे यहीं छोड़ के आगे बढ़ चलूँगा,
मेरी लड़ाई तो किस्मत से है, तुझसे अलग रह के भी मैं जंग जीत लूँगा,
मेरे सामने अपनी अहमियत जानकर भी तू मुझसे क्यूँ है लड़ना चाहता,
मेरे जीवन के इस पड़ाव को तू क्यूँ नहीं समझना चाहता....
Wednesday, July 7, 2010
LOVE
Love- a quite wonderful and big word for me… never understood the real meaning of it, but today I understood it completely (in real sense, because today I am happy although she is not with me). When people generally talk about love(mutual) then they call it as a gift of god. Yes, surely it is a gift of god and an awesome feeling. But I feel this one sided love is also a good lesson from god. Some people say that First love is only the true love etc, but today I felt this true love. So here I am telling about the other aspect of love ( I might be wrong, but this is the thing which I learnt recently from various states of mind and looking at other’s relationship status).
first of all, I would like to thanks the god because he found me good enough for offering his blessings..yes, I loved someone although it was one sided but really an awesome feeling. Unfortunately or fortunately it could not reach up to its destination (although I would always wish that it must be a fortunate one( for her) because I will always wish for her happiness, her pleasure and that’s what I need.. and the best part of my feeling is that I don’t have any hard feeling for anyone and just happy in her happiness and I don’t have any regrets for not being the reason of her happiness.)
Now what i actually learnt that LOVE IS A PHASE OF LIFE and when it gets mutual then it becomes a relation of a lifetime…but if it is a one sided then it is a phase of a life…and you need to come out of it as early as possible because life is just to go on…and when you easily come out of it then don’t consider your love as infatuation or give it some other name, no, not at all, it is your strength because of which you came out from this tragedy and if you will do it with your heart, then you will love to do it, because ultimately you are doing this for the person’s (your love) pleasure, which is also a clear indication of your true, pure, awesome love… you just love the way you loved that persons…so now love this opposite way too.
You get serious for any person, totally committed (one sided) but if it is not written in destiny then how it can be possible… then you must not lose your identity, must go on.. You know, the best part about love (whether it is mutual or one sided) that it makes person more mature, more good and more sensible.
If it is love then you must be totally committed, must try to convert into a relation of lifetime, try your best but if it could not go up to that point then also you must respect yourself for all those things that you have done for that relationship and must not waste your time in crying, just memorizing that past and feeling sad..yes, you must remember those times and must feel proud on yourself for the way you were dedicated, the way you tried to hold the relationship and seriously it would give a good, happy, pleasure feeling.
It was not your bad- luck that the person with whom you were in love, could not be yours .it might be that person’s bad-luck or anything else but was not your fault at all because true love always make person better by heart, by feelings or by anything else…and after this feeling, you would seriously get yourself as a better person, better soul which is actually the blessing of god, the actual reason behind this love.
when the people just talk about their someone special then they say I love his/her those qualities etc..but according to me, true love does not need any reasons…it is totally your altruism..a pure feeling, which must be coming from deep inside of your heart and which does not require any reason and the best part is that I did not have any reason for loving her.. I just loved her, loved with her disqualities,loved with her reality, loved with all the purity of my heart.
But if you just move on then you need not to close your heart’s door... you know the one of the worst part of human nature is that we people always cry for the things what we don’t have.. but usually never become happy for what we have. You need not to cry for the reason that she could not be yours but look around in this beautiful world…you might get your soul mate..and even if you don’t get then also you must be happy because apart from love there are plenty of works to be done, plenty of responsibilities to be fulfilled by you, and if it would be written in your destiny then you would surely get your perfect soul-mate on the perfect timing.
Friends, life is very unpredictable, we all live in this unpredictable, but a beautiful world… so just live it at its fullest, enjoy your every moment and phase of a life, leave the rest on god, he has already set the things for you..just wait for his blessings and this is what I am doing too(although, I am very lucky, because he has already blessed me by giving me such a wonderful feeling..:)
Thank you god for all your blessing …:)
Thank you god for giving me chance for falling in love ..:)
Thank you god because now I respect myself ..:)
Thank you so much god to make me understand the real definition of love ..:)
Thank you so much god to make me a better person and one of the best person I have ever met ..:)
first of all, I would like to thanks the god because he found me good enough for offering his blessings..yes, I loved someone although it was one sided but really an awesome feeling. Unfortunately or fortunately it could not reach up to its destination (although I would always wish that it must be a fortunate one( for her) because I will always wish for her happiness, her pleasure and that’s what I need.. and the best part of my feeling is that I don’t have any hard feeling for anyone and just happy in her happiness and I don’t have any regrets for not being the reason of her happiness.)
Now what i actually learnt that LOVE IS A PHASE OF LIFE and when it gets mutual then it becomes a relation of a lifetime…but if it is a one sided then it is a phase of a life…and you need to come out of it as early as possible because life is just to go on…and when you easily come out of it then don’t consider your love as infatuation or give it some other name, no, not at all, it is your strength because of which you came out from this tragedy and if you will do it with your heart, then you will love to do it, because ultimately you are doing this for the person’s (your love) pleasure, which is also a clear indication of your true, pure, awesome love… you just love the way you loved that persons…so now love this opposite way too.
You get serious for any person, totally committed (one sided) but if it is not written in destiny then how it can be possible… then you must not lose your identity, must go on.. You know, the best part about love (whether it is mutual or one sided) that it makes person more mature, more good and more sensible.
If it is love then you must be totally committed, must try to convert into a relation of lifetime, try your best but if it could not go up to that point then also you must respect yourself for all those things that you have done for that relationship and must not waste your time in crying, just memorizing that past and feeling sad..yes, you must remember those times and must feel proud on yourself for the way you were dedicated, the way you tried to hold the relationship and seriously it would give a good, happy, pleasure feeling.
It was not your bad- luck that the person with whom you were in love, could not be yours .it might be that person’s bad-luck or anything else but was not your fault at all because true love always make person better by heart, by feelings or by anything else…and after this feeling, you would seriously get yourself as a better person, better soul which is actually the blessing of god, the actual reason behind this love.
when the people just talk about their someone special then they say I love his/her those qualities etc..but according to me, true love does not need any reasons…it is totally your altruism..a pure feeling, which must be coming from deep inside of your heart and which does not require any reason and the best part is that I did not have any reason for loving her.. I just loved her, loved with her disqualities,loved with her reality, loved with all the purity of my heart.
But if you just move on then you need not to close your heart’s door... you know the one of the worst part of human nature is that we people always cry for the things what we don’t have.. but usually never become happy for what we have. You need not to cry for the reason that she could not be yours but look around in this beautiful world…you might get your soul mate..and even if you don’t get then also you must be happy because apart from love there are plenty of works to be done, plenty of responsibilities to be fulfilled by you, and if it would be written in your destiny then you would surely get your perfect soul-mate on the perfect timing.
Friends, life is very unpredictable, we all live in this unpredictable, but a beautiful world… so just live it at its fullest, enjoy your every moment and phase of a life, leave the rest on god, he has already set the things for you..just wait for his blessings and this is what I am doing too(although, I am very lucky, because he has already blessed me by giving me such a wonderful feeling..:)
Thank you god for all your blessing …:)
Thank you god for giving me chance for falling in love ..:)
Thank you god because now I respect myself ..:)
Thank you so much god to make me understand the real definition of love ..:)
Thank you so much god to make me a better person and one of the best person I have ever met ..:)
Thursday, July 1, 2010
Imtihaan
ले ज़िन्दगी इम्तिहान तू मेरा,
ये आँखें अब ना रोयेंगी,
तू चाहे लाख बुरा कर ले,
ये मुस्कान अब ना खोयेंगी,
माना मैंने कि मैं तो बस एक मोहरा हूँ,
जिसकी कोई बिसात नहीं,
पर वादा रहा तुझसे ज़िन्दगी,
मेरी साँसे तेरी हर चाल को रोकेंगी,
बहुत उतार-चढाव देखे हैं मैंने,
बहुत बार तुने हसाया और रुलाया है,
और हर बार तुने अपनी अंगुली पर ही मुझे नचाया है,
पर मेरी आत्मा तेरी बात अब ना मानेंगी,
तू चाहे लाख जतन कर ले,
ये पलकें अब ना भिगेंगी,
ले ज़िन्दगी इम्तिहान तू मेरा,
ये आँखें अब ना रोयेंगी...
ये आँखें अब ना रोयेंगी,
तू चाहे लाख बुरा कर ले,
ये मुस्कान अब ना खोयेंगी,
माना मैंने कि मैं तो बस एक मोहरा हूँ,
जिसकी कोई बिसात नहीं,
पर वादा रहा तुझसे ज़िन्दगी,
मेरी साँसे तेरी हर चाल को रोकेंगी,
बहुत उतार-चढाव देखे हैं मैंने,
बहुत बार तुने हसाया और रुलाया है,
और हर बार तुने अपनी अंगुली पर ही मुझे नचाया है,
पर मेरी आत्मा तेरी बात अब ना मानेंगी,
तू चाहे लाख जतन कर ले,
ये पलकें अब ना भिगेंगी,
ले ज़िन्दगी इम्तिहान तू मेरा,
ये आँखें अब ना रोयेंगी...
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Ehsaas
दिल से उठी एक आवाज़ थी वो,
मुझ अंधे को रास्ता दिखाने वाला प्रकाश था वो,
ज़िन्दगी मेरी ठहर सी गयी थी,
ऐसा खुशनुमा एहसास था वो,
पर ये जिंदगी कभी रूकती नहीं,
आप लाख चिल्ल्लाओ, लाख समझाओ,
आपको समझती नहीं,
इसलिए आज मैं आगे बढ़ रहा हूँ,
शायद उस एहसास को खो रहा हूँ,
मैं उसे खोना तो नहीं चाहता,
पर अब तो उसे दुबारा पाने से भी डर रहा हूँ,
शायद मुझे खुद से मिलाने के लिए ही मुझमे जगा था वो,
ज़िन्दगी ज़ीने का सबक सिखाने वाला एहसास था वो,
और आज बीच राह मे मुझे फिर से अकेला छोड़ के,
मुझ पर हसते हुए दूर कहीं जा रहा है वो...
मुझ अंधे को रास्ता दिखाने वाला प्रकाश था वो,
ज़िन्दगी मेरी ठहर सी गयी थी,
ऐसा खुशनुमा एहसास था वो,
पर ये जिंदगी कभी रूकती नहीं,
आप लाख चिल्ल्लाओ, लाख समझाओ,
आपको समझती नहीं,
इसलिए आज मैं आगे बढ़ रहा हूँ,
शायद उस एहसास को खो रहा हूँ,
मैं उसे खोना तो नहीं चाहता,
पर अब तो उसे दुबारा पाने से भी डर रहा हूँ,
शायद मुझे खुद से मिलाने के लिए ही मुझमे जगा था वो,
ज़िन्दगी ज़ीने का सबक सिखाने वाला एहसास था वो,
और आज बीच राह मे मुझे फिर से अकेला छोड़ के,
मुझ पर हसते हुए दूर कहीं जा रहा है वो...
Thursday, June 17, 2010
Meri uljhan
मैं रोना चाहता था, पर आंसू बहे नहीं,
मैं रोकना चाहता था, पर कदम आगे बढे नहीं,
चीजों को समझते-२ मैं इतना ज्यादा समझने लगा कि,
आज जब मैं लौटना चाहता हूँ, मुझे दिल की गवाही मिलती नहीं..
वो समय भी प्यारा था, जब मेरा दिल मेरे साथ था,
मुझे खुद पर पूरा विश्वास था,
पर अब तो इतने मानसिक द्वन्द हैं होते कि,
जीत के भी मैं खुद को जीता हुआ मान पाता नहीं,
वो ना समझ सका मेरी इस उलझन को,
मेरी बातों, मेरी आँखों मे छुपी हुई तड़पन. को,
शायद इसीलिए आज जब मैं ठहरना चाहता हूँ, तब ये कदम रुकते नहीं,
मैं आज भी रोना चाहता हूँ, पर कमबख्त ये आंसू बहते नहीं..
मैं रोकना चाहता था, पर कदम आगे बढे नहीं,
चीजों को समझते-२ मैं इतना ज्यादा समझने लगा कि,
आज जब मैं लौटना चाहता हूँ, मुझे दिल की गवाही मिलती नहीं..
वो समय भी प्यारा था, जब मेरा दिल मेरे साथ था,
मुझे खुद पर पूरा विश्वास था,
पर अब तो इतने मानसिक द्वन्द हैं होते कि,
जीत के भी मैं खुद को जीता हुआ मान पाता नहीं,
वो ना समझ सका मेरी इस उलझन को,
मेरी बातों, मेरी आँखों मे छुपी हुई तड़पन. को,
शायद इसीलिए आज जब मैं ठहरना चाहता हूँ, तब ये कदम रुकते नहीं,
मैं आज भी रोना चाहता हूँ, पर कमबख्त ये आंसू बहते नहीं..
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Chat with Ankit.
Well, this time it is not just an article but actually it is a chat with me which I had today in the early morning. As I have told to you all that “my blog would be the best way to meet me”, so I need to follow my words, so I am telling to you all about this chat.
It was 4:30 a.m. in the morning when I opened my eyes. I found myself sitting in the chair with my cell in my hand. I found that whole night I slept at my chair only, waiting for a call of my friend. Actually last night I had a chat (on my cell) with one of my friend. A friend who is not behaving normally now a days, plenty of thoughts are going on in his mind, really disturbed with the circumstances around him and I being too close to him, want to get him out of this situation. Last night I wanted to talk to him but he told me to talk me later, so I waited for his call but I did not get it. He could have been busy or anything else but as I was waiting and I did not get it, Then I felt bad (little bit) but did not get angry.
Now it was 4:45 a.m. I came out of my hostel, just walking on the road. I went 1-2 months back; this was the time when I had plenty of fights with him. In fact first time ever in my life, I had a fight with any of my friend because first time ever, I started expecting anything from anyone. In fact it was quite surprising for me too, in solitude I used to ask myself “Ankit! What happened to you??how could you expect anything from anyone??you don’t have any right for it and you were not like this..” but never got the solution. As you all know that once you start expecting and if it does not gets fulfilled then you get angry and then use to have a fight with that person. Now I thought that if the last night’s incident (although incident is bit hard word for it, but still I am using it) could have happened a couple of months back then surely I would have got angry and it would have led to fight with my friend but for now I was not angry.
Then again I went one year back, when he was a good friend of mine and found that if it would have happened at that time then neither I would have felt bad nor felt angry. In fact it would not have affected me in any sense.
But today I just felt bad. In my last article I discussed about taking step a behind in friendship and I really shiver when I feel that I am moving that single step in my relationship with him. I shiver because I am too attached to him, can do anything for him, anything at all and I don’t want to lose my friendship with him in any case. Here my friend can definitely get angry with me, because may be, I am not understanding his situation as I can also see that he is not fine at all and this is the thing which is really disturbing me too because I am unable to bring a smile on his face. But here in this article I am just telling about my chat.
I saw in many of the cases that when people get so attached to anyone then they usually have plenty of fights between them..then I used to ask to myself that “yar, jab inke beech mai itna pyaar hai to ye itna jhagda kyun karte hain..pata ni kaisa pyaar hai??” but I never got the answer because I had never been so attached to anyone as I am attached to that friend. So first time I had a fight with any of my friend even at that time I did not realize it, but today when I am on this walk then I realize “jhagdaa hona chaiye..kyunki jhagdaa unhi se hota hai, jinse aap bahut jyada attached hote ho…”
There is difference between ‘jhagdaa’ and ‘ladaai’..In fight..there is always a hope for settlement of everything but in ‘ladaai’ nothing remains to be settled.. ‘jhagdaa’ use to have with your well wishers but ‘ ladaai’ use to have with the people who does not mean anything for you. After each ‘fight’, you always wish that things must be all right like it was before, but after ‘ladaai’ you take it as a closed chapter of your life, if things get settled with the people with whom you had ladaai then it is ok for you but if does not then also you would not bother about it.
I am not saying that now I have maintained a formal relationship with my friend, yes , I am trying to cut down on my expectation levels (up to the ground level).. I don’t know whether I am doing right or wrong…but formal relationship?? no, not at all.. he is my closest friend and would always be, because once I give any place to anyone in my heart (after knowing that person) then it does not change in any case, and I know that I know my friend very well… I can do anything for a single smile on his face and it would always remain with me…it will never change in me and I would always pray for his happiness (from the core of my heart). I don’t know about him, he may have many more friends like me or superior than me, but for me, he is the one and will always be the one and will never like to share his position with anyone.
Now it was 6:30 a.m. in the morning so I thought that I should get back to my hostel..when I was returning back then I din’t have the answer to questions regarding relationship with my friend(may be, I would never have) but at least, I have answer of one of my question (after so many days I got answer of any of my questions so had a kind of satisfaction in my mind) and that was “ jhagdaa hona chahiye..it certainly indicates your closeness with the person. You can get upset by work, mischievous of anyone but you would not go for fight until unless you are not too close with you.. (mind it here I am talking about ‘jhagdaa’ not about ‘ladaai’)..these ‘jhagades’ are the another way of expressing your love, care, attachment for that person and yes, there is nothing wrong in expecting something from someone who is too close to you because this expectation is also a part of your closeness that you have with that person.”
PS: After reading this article, one of my friends asked me that “are you writing this article just because your friend could read it and feel it??” I then replied “no dear! I am just following my words “my blog would be the best way to meet me”, that is what I am doing and my friend would certainly understand my intentions if he understands me too ”.
It was 4:30 a.m. in the morning when I opened my eyes. I found myself sitting in the chair with my cell in my hand. I found that whole night I slept at my chair only, waiting for a call of my friend. Actually last night I had a chat (on my cell) with one of my friend. A friend who is not behaving normally now a days, plenty of thoughts are going on in his mind, really disturbed with the circumstances around him and I being too close to him, want to get him out of this situation. Last night I wanted to talk to him but he told me to talk me later, so I waited for his call but I did not get it. He could have been busy or anything else but as I was waiting and I did not get it, Then I felt bad (little bit) but did not get angry.
Now it was 4:45 a.m. I came out of my hostel, just walking on the road. I went 1-2 months back; this was the time when I had plenty of fights with him. In fact first time ever in my life, I had a fight with any of my friend because first time ever, I started expecting anything from anyone. In fact it was quite surprising for me too, in solitude I used to ask myself “Ankit! What happened to you??how could you expect anything from anyone??you don’t have any right for it and you were not like this..” but never got the solution. As you all know that once you start expecting and if it does not gets fulfilled then you get angry and then use to have a fight with that person. Now I thought that if the last night’s incident (although incident is bit hard word for it, but still I am using it) could have happened a couple of months back then surely I would have got angry and it would have led to fight with my friend but for now I was not angry.
Then again I went one year back, when he was a good friend of mine and found that if it would have happened at that time then neither I would have felt bad nor felt angry. In fact it would not have affected me in any sense.
But today I just felt bad. In my last article I discussed about taking step a behind in friendship and I really shiver when I feel that I am moving that single step in my relationship with him. I shiver because I am too attached to him, can do anything for him, anything at all and I don’t want to lose my friendship with him in any case. Here my friend can definitely get angry with me, because may be, I am not understanding his situation as I can also see that he is not fine at all and this is the thing which is really disturbing me too because I am unable to bring a smile on his face. But here in this article I am just telling about my chat.
I saw in many of the cases that when people get so attached to anyone then they usually have plenty of fights between them..then I used to ask to myself that “yar, jab inke beech mai itna pyaar hai to ye itna jhagda kyun karte hain..pata ni kaisa pyaar hai??” but I never got the answer because I had never been so attached to anyone as I am attached to that friend. So first time I had a fight with any of my friend even at that time I did not realize it, but today when I am on this walk then I realize “jhagdaa hona chaiye..kyunki jhagdaa unhi se hota hai, jinse aap bahut jyada attached hote ho…”
There is difference between ‘jhagdaa’ and ‘ladaai’..In fight..there is always a hope for settlement of everything but in ‘ladaai’ nothing remains to be settled.. ‘jhagdaa’ use to have with your well wishers but ‘ ladaai’ use to have with the people who does not mean anything for you. After each ‘fight’, you always wish that things must be all right like it was before, but after ‘ladaai’ you take it as a closed chapter of your life, if things get settled with the people with whom you had ladaai then it is ok for you but if does not then also you would not bother about it.
I am not saying that now I have maintained a formal relationship with my friend, yes , I am trying to cut down on my expectation levels (up to the ground level).. I don’t know whether I am doing right or wrong…but formal relationship?? no, not at all.. he is my closest friend and would always be, because once I give any place to anyone in my heart (after knowing that person) then it does not change in any case, and I know that I know my friend very well… I can do anything for a single smile on his face and it would always remain with me…it will never change in me and I would always pray for his happiness (from the core of my heart). I don’t know about him, he may have many more friends like me or superior than me, but for me, he is the one and will always be the one and will never like to share his position with anyone.
Now it was 6:30 a.m. in the morning so I thought that I should get back to my hostel..when I was returning back then I din’t have the answer to questions regarding relationship with my friend(may be, I would never have) but at least, I have answer of one of my question (after so many days I got answer of any of my questions so had a kind of satisfaction in my mind) and that was “ jhagdaa hona chahiye..it certainly indicates your closeness with the person. You can get upset by work, mischievous of anyone but you would not go for fight until unless you are not too close with you.. (mind it here I am talking about ‘jhagdaa’ not about ‘ladaai’)..these ‘jhagades’ are the another way of expressing your love, care, attachment for that person and yes, there is nothing wrong in expecting something from someone who is too close to you because this expectation is also a part of your closeness that you have with that person.”
PS: After reading this article, one of my friends asked me that “are you writing this article just because your friend could read it and feel it??” I then replied “no dear! I am just following my words “my blog would be the best way to meet me”, that is what I am doing and my friend would certainly understand my intentions if he understands me too ”.
Friday, April 30, 2010
A Step Behind
“Once we were so close friends, but for now we are just……”
This is the most common line often said by people when they just remember about their close relationships of past. Well, I think it is the most painful lines told by the person about the relationships.
I found that in many of the relationships people just make habits of living with each other, spend whole day talking with each other. Even now days as there are plenty of services being provided by various tele-communication companies at cheap rates, young generation talks through SMS and many more services for whole day, share all of their feelings and emotions with each other, get a great emotional and mental support from their friends. In fact it becomes so tough to live or imagine even a single day without your friend…but suddenly things get changed and people often accept this as a ‘distance with time’ or things associated with long distance relationships and many time people just don’t even bother to maintain their relationship status up to that level.
People often say that ‘I am busy in my life and he/she will be busy in his/her life and I am not getting time to talk to my friend”, but slowly this duration increases, from day to day, from day to month and then it becomes just as to make a call on birthdays and on some other special occasions. Some of the people say that “he/she is my friend and I will contact him or her when I‘ll be in need of my friend and my friend would also do the same if I would be needed.” But I ask to all of them that “was it the status of their friendship when they were close??? Were they friends for the sake of being friends just in need?? I don’t think so. Neither you know about what is going on in your friend’s life nor does your friend.
There is word called ‘priority’ which according to me means a lot for maintaining a relationship. If you wish to be in continuous touch with your close friend, you would definitely get time to talk to your friend within at max. 3-5 days, whether you are the busiest person of the world or you have plenty of free time (mind it, I am not saying that you must talk to your friend in 3-4 days but you should not blame ‘time’ only for not being in touch with your friend). But people generally keep this thing out of their priority list and slowly lose their friends.
It becomes most awful situation that one of the friends finds himself in a problem but is unable to talk to his friend because the latter is too much busy in his life or finds that my friend is not having a time to listen me and finds him/her unapproachable. He lives in agony, does not find a friend of that level of intimacy and other person fails to feel the twitch of his friend, pre assume that my friend would be fine. This thing brings debacle changes in friendship.
Sometimes now as your closeness level is decreasing, your friend starts feeling uncomfortable when you concern about his/her problem, does not want you to intervene in his/her life and finds your suggestions as quite intruding. Then you would have to move “a step behind” which creates a silence and unseen gap between both of you and here your friendship starts changing into formality.
So now after seeing all these things, I find that being emotionally numb is quite better than to be trapped by emotions. At least you would not go through the pain of missing friends, pain of maintaining formal relations with your close friend, which for me is one of the most painful moment and it is really tough to get over it.
Friendship is more of feeling than saying, its all about reading b/w the lines. If once you make someone as your close friend then you must feel that when your friend is actually in need of yours and what is going on in your friend’s life and your friend must also feel the same. Yes, there may be some gap as you both get so much busy but that gap must be momentarily, it must not be changed as a duration or gap for a life time. You must understand the situation of your friend but it should not be up to the level that there is decrease in importance of your friend and you always find an alternative of your friend.
So dear friends, please do not let your friendship become formality, life is a punishment without friends. It is not easy to maintain that closeness level with everyone (for me it is impossible). Please never let your friend go such that it becomes so late.
PS: One of my friends asked me that “Why you titled it as “A Step Behind”? I don’t find any relevance of it with this article”..I then told “after maintaining that closeness level, if you would have to move a step behind in your friendship..then generally it does not remain as a step only..it leads to annihilation of your relationship and your friendship tends towards a formal relationship…so this article is all about that how this single step (deterioration in closeness) annihilates your friendship”
This is the most common line often said by people when they just remember about their close relationships of past. Well, I think it is the most painful lines told by the person about the relationships.
I found that in many of the relationships people just make habits of living with each other, spend whole day talking with each other. Even now days as there are plenty of services being provided by various tele-communication companies at cheap rates, young generation talks through SMS and many more services for whole day, share all of their feelings and emotions with each other, get a great emotional and mental support from their friends. In fact it becomes so tough to live or imagine even a single day without your friend…but suddenly things get changed and people often accept this as a ‘distance with time’ or things associated with long distance relationships and many time people just don’t even bother to maintain their relationship status up to that level.
People often say that ‘I am busy in my life and he/she will be busy in his/her life and I am not getting time to talk to my friend”, but slowly this duration increases, from day to day, from day to month and then it becomes just as to make a call on birthdays and on some other special occasions. Some of the people say that “he/she is my friend and I will contact him or her when I‘ll be in need of my friend and my friend would also do the same if I would be needed.” But I ask to all of them that “was it the status of their friendship when they were close??? Were they friends for the sake of being friends just in need?? I don’t think so. Neither you know about what is going on in your friend’s life nor does your friend.
There is word called ‘priority’ which according to me means a lot for maintaining a relationship. If you wish to be in continuous touch with your close friend, you would definitely get time to talk to your friend within at max. 3-5 days, whether you are the busiest person of the world or you have plenty of free time (mind it, I am not saying that you must talk to your friend in 3-4 days but you should not blame ‘time’ only for not being in touch with your friend). But people generally keep this thing out of their priority list and slowly lose their friends.
It becomes most awful situation that one of the friends finds himself in a problem but is unable to talk to his friend because the latter is too much busy in his life or finds that my friend is not having a time to listen me and finds him/her unapproachable. He lives in agony, does not find a friend of that level of intimacy and other person fails to feel the twitch of his friend, pre assume that my friend would be fine. This thing brings debacle changes in friendship.
Sometimes now as your closeness level is decreasing, your friend starts feeling uncomfortable when you concern about his/her problem, does not want you to intervene in his/her life and finds your suggestions as quite intruding. Then you would have to move “a step behind” which creates a silence and unseen gap between both of you and here your friendship starts changing into formality.
So now after seeing all these things, I find that being emotionally numb is quite better than to be trapped by emotions. At least you would not go through the pain of missing friends, pain of maintaining formal relations with your close friend, which for me is one of the most painful moment and it is really tough to get over it.
Friendship is more of feeling than saying, its all about reading b/w the lines. If once you make someone as your close friend then you must feel that when your friend is actually in need of yours and what is going on in your friend’s life and your friend must also feel the same. Yes, there may be some gap as you both get so much busy but that gap must be momentarily, it must not be changed as a duration or gap for a life time. You must understand the situation of your friend but it should not be up to the level that there is decrease in importance of your friend and you always find an alternative of your friend.
So dear friends, please do not let your friendship become formality, life is a punishment without friends. It is not easy to maintain that closeness level with everyone (for me it is impossible). Please never let your friend go such that it becomes so late.
PS: One of my friends asked me that “Why you titled it as “A Step Behind”? I don’t find any relevance of it with this article”..I then told “after maintaining that closeness level, if you would have to move a step behind in your friendship..then generally it does not remain as a step only..it leads to annihilation of your relationship and your friendship tends towards a formal relationship…so this article is all about that how this single step (deterioration in closeness) annihilates your friendship”
Sunday, April 18, 2010
The other face
“Why do we always raise hands in favor of girls-to sympathize with them? We boys are not always wrong…” he said to me after reading an article in Times of India. His statement was a general opinion. To anyone listening, he would be ‘the mocking bird’; the icon of social sarcasm. But for me, I could sense in his words, an unmistakable pain, an evident wave of frustration and delusion. But it wasn’t always so. I have known him better.
‘Kushagra Shekhar’- I knew him since childhood. But today at this period of time, I noticed many changes in him which were expected with time, but one of the major changes was in his attitude towards girls. The guy who used to be happy, always ready to help fellow human beings: has changed especially in matter of girls. Now he does not trust any girl, thinks a lot before approaching a girl. When I turned up the pages of his diary…it reminded me the things which turned him like this which I would like to share with you all.
I start from the beginning, from his school days. In school time he was very helpful and innocent. He was always ready to help anyone. But in school he was used by the girls. They always sought help from kushagra and as per his nature, he selflessly helped them, but his help was considered merely his duty to impress them, they considered it as their status of being popular, but never considered it as a help of a person to another person, which forced him to think about his helpful nature specially when it came to girls. After that I never saw that helpful nature for girls. Now after considering all these things he started to think a lot before helping a girl and often he would ignore them.
Later he came into his college life with a thinking of new start. After sometime, he developed feelings for one of his classmate. He simply asked her out, she declined but after this, things really changed for him. He became a topic of gossip among girls. They laughed at him, raised questions on his character, called him an idiot, and destroyed his image in such a drastic manner that he could not have any friend among girls. His decent behavior was considered a tactic to impress girls. Girls created such an awkward situations around him that led to big depression in him which he never deserved only just for asking a girl out. Without knowing his side, his feelings, he had already been punished by the society, declared as a wimp in a society and a laughing material for peoples of his college.
Most sad part of his story was that if someone from boy side used to come to know about his situations whether it be school or college, then instead of going to him and know about actual incidence and to stand with kushagra, he thought in girls favor, just floated this news all around among boys just to laugh upon him, with girls they all enjoyed his situations.
Now after facing all these things, he came into his professional or in his job life. After facing all these, now he had become bit of introvert in nature, but here he faced the opposite situation. Here a girl asked him out, he denied but after this , things again changed for him. He again became a hot topic among girls, but this time not to laugh but to declare him as ‘rude’, ‘flirty’, ‘arrogant’ etc.. so again they harmed his reputation. Look, to deny a girl is never an easy task for any of the boy, seriously it requires lot of guts and very high character, and if he did so, there was very strong reason behind that decision considering all the facts and situations after commitment but who cared about it, his reputation had already been ruined.
Now after facing all these he had been changed, his helpful nature which we seldom find in any person of this selfish world was killed by society and after going through all the situations which were faced by him, if he thinks as he thought after reading that article of times of India, then we are no one to blame him. Was it his fault that he was helpful? Was it his fault that some feelings developed in him for that girl and when she denied, he continued to behave with decency, never annoyed that girl? Was it his fault that he behaved with maturity and thinking the real future of relation, he denied that girl? But look at all the results he got from the society, i don’t think that he deserved all these..do you????
Now I would like to remind that we boys also have character and if someone raises question on that, it is embarrassing for us too. But we don’t ballyhoo as done by the girls if same happens with them in fact they don’t have any right to raise a question on character of any of the guy, first of all they must think about the circumstances created by them only around that boy that caused a big depression in that boy, which sometimes changes the actual nature of the boy.
I am writing this article because his case is not the exceptional one. I found all these situations very often all around in this world when peoples used to fire up and starts enjoying the agony of boy without considering the actual fact. So, I request all of you reading this article that if you raise your hand to sympathize any of girls then please do (if it is really required).But same should be with boys also. In fact your hands should be raised to sympathize a person, to help a person, not to a boy or a girl, and if you really can’t help a boy then at least think twice before blaming a boy without knowing the actual incidence or without knowing the boys sides too, because we boys are not always wrong, sometimes it may be girls….
‘Kushagra Shekhar’- I knew him since childhood. But today at this period of time, I noticed many changes in him which were expected with time, but one of the major changes was in his attitude towards girls. The guy who used to be happy, always ready to help fellow human beings: has changed especially in matter of girls. Now he does not trust any girl, thinks a lot before approaching a girl. When I turned up the pages of his diary…it reminded me the things which turned him like this which I would like to share with you all.
I start from the beginning, from his school days. In school time he was very helpful and innocent. He was always ready to help anyone. But in school he was used by the girls. They always sought help from kushagra and as per his nature, he selflessly helped them, but his help was considered merely his duty to impress them, they considered it as their status of being popular, but never considered it as a help of a person to another person, which forced him to think about his helpful nature specially when it came to girls. After that I never saw that helpful nature for girls. Now after considering all these things he started to think a lot before helping a girl and often he would ignore them.
Later he came into his college life with a thinking of new start. After sometime, he developed feelings for one of his classmate. He simply asked her out, she declined but after this, things really changed for him. He became a topic of gossip among girls. They laughed at him, raised questions on his character, called him an idiot, and destroyed his image in such a drastic manner that he could not have any friend among girls. His decent behavior was considered a tactic to impress girls. Girls created such an awkward situations around him that led to big depression in him which he never deserved only just for asking a girl out. Without knowing his side, his feelings, he had already been punished by the society, declared as a wimp in a society and a laughing material for peoples of his college.
Most sad part of his story was that if someone from boy side used to come to know about his situations whether it be school or college, then instead of going to him and know about actual incidence and to stand with kushagra, he thought in girls favor, just floated this news all around among boys just to laugh upon him, with girls they all enjoyed his situations.
Now after facing all these things, he came into his professional or in his job life. After facing all these, now he had become bit of introvert in nature, but here he faced the opposite situation. Here a girl asked him out, he denied but after this , things again changed for him. He again became a hot topic among girls, but this time not to laugh but to declare him as ‘rude’, ‘flirty’, ‘arrogant’ etc.. so again they harmed his reputation. Look, to deny a girl is never an easy task for any of the boy, seriously it requires lot of guts and very high character, and if he did so, there was very strong reason behind that decision considering all the facts and situations after commitment but who cared about it, his reputation had already been ruined.
Now after facing all these he had been changed, his helpful nature which we seldom find in any person of this selfish world was killed by society and after going through all the situations which were faced by him, if he thinks as he thought after reading that article of times of India, then we are no one to blame him. Was it his fault that he was helpful? Was it his fault that some feelings developed in him for that girl and when she denied, he continued to behave with decency, never annoyed that girl? Was it his fault that he behaved with maturity and thinking the real future of relation, he denied that girl? But look at all the results he got from the society, i don’t think that he deserved all these..do you????
Now I would like to remind that we boys also have character and if someone raises question on that, it is embarrassing for us too. But we don’t ballyhoo as done by the girls if same happens with them in fact they don’t have any right to raise a question on character of any of the guy, first of all they must think about the circumstances created by them only around that boy that caused a big depression in that boy, which sometimes changes the actual nature of the boy.
I am writing this article because his case is not the exceptional one. I found all these situations very often all around in this world when peoples used to fire up and starts enjoying the agony of boy without considering the actual fact. So, I request all of you reading this article that if you raise your hand to sympathize any of girls then please do (if it is really required).But same should be with boys also. In fact your hands should be raised to sympathize a person, to help a person, not to a boy or a girl, and if you really can’t help a boy then at least think twice before blaming a boy without knowing the actual incidence or without knowing the boys sides too, because we boys are not always wrong, sometimes it may be girls….
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