A Sweet Memory

This weekend, I had a chance to visit mussorie and I did not want it to go in vain, just wanted to grasp the opportunity with my both hands. So I came to dehradoon, stayed along with one of my friend at his relative’s house..well I am the kind of the guy who usually does not prefer to go anyone’s house until and unless I have great level of intimacy with the person but I am really thankful to my friend because there I met with a lady who really taught me some great things about life, a very positive way of perception about life, something very inspirational, something very illuminating.


We humans are very condition conscious…if all the things go in our favor, we just enjoy, but if in any case it does not , then we just cease our movement, blame to God. Very less no. people maintain their positive attitude at that time also… we lose all our hopes, forget all whether it be our responsibilities or the people whose smiles are attached with our smile, just finish ourselves.. but here I met with this lady , saw her way of perception and it really impressed me.

Lady, whose husband died five year before in a road accident. He left a daughter and lady in his family. He was the only breadwinner of his family. After death of her husband, she got many hands to support her, offer to live with her relatives etc, but this lady did not compromise with her self-respect.. thought to live her life in her own way. So this lady joined job in his husband’s office which was offered by government..started to live along with her daughter and to get some more financial security, started a side business too. The tragedy which was faced by her, could not be able to stop her from dreaming and setting a new goals for her life. I have seen many ladies who after death of their husband do not be able to come out from the tragedy..but this lady really turned round the things. The lady started to work properly in the office and side by side on her business too…now today, her business is running on good condition..the best part is that along with doing all these things, she manages her home very well too. Those mother-daughter are the best friend of each-other..the lady knows all the things which are going on in her daughter’s school or in her dance classes and the daughter knows all the scenario of her mother’s job and business. In her(lady) busy schedule of office and business, she has a time to watch movie along with her daughter, she has time for her daughter’s dances etc . The lady is enjoying her life perfectly along with her daughter…set a new set of ‘amway’..and would definitely achieve all…my best wishes are with her.

So this was the story, which I saw this weekend… but what I learnt ,was something more than it..you know we people always get 100 reasons to smile and one reason to be sad..but we ignore those 100 reasons, we just think about that single reason.. which is sufficient enough for disturbing us, just taking us away from our goal, our responsibilities. I am not saying that we should not bother about that single reason.. no, not all..we must care about that single reason, must learn a lesson from that phase (which is the actual reason behind every sad phase of the life)..but must not bring stoppage in our life.

You know the best and the worst part about the time is the same..and it is “ it never stops”..it just goes on and goes on and the same is with life too…so when all the things are going on..then why should we stop..we must move ahead, must dream ahead.

If someone special (whether it be your father or mother or sister or other) went away from your life and if then, you cease moving ahead then it is surely the insult of the love, care that you had from that person. It is surely the insult of wonderful relation that you had with that person.. you know, the person does not go anywhere , his/her soul always remain somewhere around you.. just to see what you are doing actually. Now the person has gone then it is your time now..take your responsibilities, apply the things what you actually learnt from that person, spread the love what you actually had from that person.

That lady taught me to seek happiness in every lovely moment we live.. and learn a lesson in every bad moment we face. The lady taught me how to be positive in every phase and how to dream ahead.

We people dream something and if it does not fulfill, it just cause poignant in our life..but this lady taught me “ believe in your dreams” and improve yourself to achieve your dreams..and even if you don’t get your dream then also you have improved now.. which itself is a quite big achievement, a real sense of achieving of your dreams…and this reason is sufficient enough to bring smiles on your face.

Life is journey and in this journey we meet with many people…so enjoy meeting with each and every person…move along with those people till the destiny takes you both..and the best part about this journey is that at the end of each journey either you would be having sweet memories or a very good lesson so either a reason to move ahead or a reason to start all over again..but you would have something and that’s for sure.

So after this trip, my positive attitude which was deteriorating, came back and I just remembered my journey till now and I realized that after each phase of journey, I really had something..either it was sweet memory or a very good lesson but I had something, the real reasons to move ahead..:)

Sun Le Meri Rooh..

वो है अम्बर, तो मै हूँ धरा,
वो है सागर, तो मै हूँ एक मामूली सा घड़ा,
ये सब जब मैं समझ सकता हूँ, तो तू क्यूँ नहीं मान  पाता,
तू मेरा साया हो कर भी मेरे साथ क्यूँ नहीं चल पाता,
हर चीज़ जो इंसान चाहता है, वो उसे नहीं मिलता,
जीवन के इस दस्तूर को तू क्यों नहीं समझ पाता,
तू भी जानता है कि तू मुझसे हार जाएगा एक दिन,
तो मुझसे अभी ही ख़ुशी-२ हाथ क्यूँ नहीं मिला पाता,
मैंने तो अपना जीवन नहीं रोका है,मैं तो जी रहा हूँ.
दर्द के बारे मे बिलकुल  ना सोच कर मैं तो हँस रहा हूँ.,
फिर तू क्यूँ नहीं हँस पाता,मेरा हमसफ़र क्यूँ नहीं बन पाता,
मुझे तो तेरी नासमझी पर गुस्सा नहीं, अब तो तरस आता है,
 तेरा साथ छोड़ के तुझसे भी दूर जाने का दिल चाहता है,
जल्दी से सब समझ कर मेरे साथ आ जा,
वरना मैं तो तुझे यहीं छोड़ के आगे बढ़ चलूँगा,
मेरी लड़ाई तो किस्मत से है, तुझसे अलग रह के भी मैं जंग जीत लूँगा,
मेरे सामने अपनी अहमियत जानकर भी तू मुझसे क्यूँ है लड़ना चाहता,
मेरे जीवन के इस पड़ाव को तू क्यूँ नहीं समझना चाहता.... 

LOVE

Love- a quite wonderful and big word for me… never understood the real meaning of it, but today I understood it completely (in real sense, because today I am happy although she is not with me). When people generally talk about love(mutual) then they call it as a gift of god. Yes, surely it is a gift of god and an awesome feeling. But I feel this one sided love is also a good lesson from god. Some people say that First love is only the true love etc, but today I felt this true love. So here I am telling about the other aspect of love ( I might be wrong, but this is the thing which I learnt recently from various states of mind and looking at other’s relationship status).

first of all, I would like to thanks the god because he found me good enough for offering his blessings..yes, I loved someone although it was one sided but really an awesome feeling. Unfortunately or fortunately it could not reach up to its destination (although I would always wish that it must be a fortunate one( for her) because I will always wish for her happiness, her pleasure and that’s what I need.. and the best part of my feeling is that I don’t have any hard feeling for anyone and just happy in her happiness and I don’t have any regrets for not being the reason of her happiness.)

Now what i actually learnt that LOVE IS A PHASE OF LIFE and when it gets mutual then it becomes a relation of a lifetime…but if it is a one sided then it is a phase of a life…and you need to come out of it as early as possible because life is just to go on…and when you easily come out of it then don’t consider your love as infatuation or give it some other name, no, not at all, it is your strength because of which you came out from this tragedy and if you will do it with your heart, then you will love to do it, because ultimately you are doing this for the person’s (your love) pleasure, which is also a clear indication of your true, pure, awesome love… you just love the way you loved that persons…so now love this opposite way too.

You get serious for any person, totally committed (one sided) but if it is not written in destiny then how it can be possible… then you must not lose your identity, must go on.. You know, the best part about love (whether it is mutual or one sided) that it makes person more mature, more good and more sensible.

If it is love then you must be totally committed, must try to convert into a relation of lifetime, try your best but if it could not go up to that point then also you must respect yourself for all those things that you have done for that relationship and must not waste your time in crying, just memorizing that past and feeling sad..yes, you must remember those times and must feel proud on yourself for the way you were dedicated, the way you tried to hold the relationship and seriously it would give a good, happy, pleasure feeling.

It was not your bad- luck that the person with whom you were in love, could not be yours .it might be that person’s bad-luck or anything else but was not your fault at all because true love always make person better by heart, by feelings or by anything else…and after this feeling, you would seriously get yourself as a better person, better soul which is actually the blessing of god, the actual reason behind this love.

when the people just talk about their someone special then they say I love his/her those qualities etc..but according to me, true love does not need any reasons…it is totally your altruism..a pure feeling, which must be coming from deep inside of your heart and which does not require any reason and the best part is that I did not have any reason for loving her.. I just loved her, loved with her disqualities,loved with her reality, loved with all the purity of my heart.

But if you just move on then you need not to close your heart’s door... you know the one of the worst part of human nature is that we people always cry for the things what we don’t have.. but usually never become happy for what we have. You need not to cry for the reason that she could not be yours but look around in this beautiful world…you might get your soul mate..and even if you don’t get then also you must be happy because apart from love there are plenty of works to be done, plenty of responsibilities to be fulfilled by you, and if it would be written in your destiny then you would surely get your perfect soul-mate on the perfect timing.

Friends, life is very unpredictable, we all live in this unpredictable, but a beautiful world… so just live it at its fullest, enjoy your every moment and phase of a life, leave the rest on god, he has already set the things for you..just wait for his blessings and this is what I am doing too(although, I am very lucky, because he has already blessed me by giving me such a wonderful feeling..:)

Thank you god for all your blessing …:)

Thank you god for giving me chance for falling in love ..:)

Thank you god because now I respect myself ..:)

Thank you so much god to make me understand the real definition of love ..:)

Thank you so much god to make me a better person and one of the best person I have ever met ..:)

Imtihaan

ले ज़िन्दगी इम्तिहान तू मेरा,
ये आँखें अब ना रोयेंगी,
तू चाहे लाख बुरा कर ले,
ये मुस्कान अब ना खोयेंगी,
माना मैंने कि मैं तो बस एक मोहरा हूँ,
जिसकी कोई बिसात नहीं,
पर वादा रहा तुझसे ज़िन्दगी,
मेरी साँसे तेरी हर चाल को रोकेंगी,
बहुत उतार-चढाव देखे हैं मैंने,
बहुत बार तुने हसाया और रुलाया है,
और हर बार तुने अपनी अंगुली पर ही मुझे नचाया है,
पर मेरी आत्मा तेरी बात अब ना मानेंगी,
तू चाहे लाख जतन कर ले,
ये पलकें अब ना भिगेंगी,
ले ज़िन्दगी इम्तिहान तू मेरा,
ये आँखें अब ना रोयेंगी...

Ehsaas

दिल से उठी एक आवाज़ थी वो,
मुझ अंधे को रास्ता  दिखाने वाला प्रकाश था वो,
ज़िन्दगी मेरी ठहर सी गयी थी,
ऐसा खुशनुमा एहसास था वो,
पर ये जिंदगी कभी रूकती नहीं,
आप लाख चिल्ल्लाओ, लाख समझाओ,
आपको समझती नहीं,
इसलिए आज मैं आगे बढ़ रहा हूँ,
शायद उस एहसास को खो रहा हूँ,
मैं उसे खोना तो नहीं चाहता,
पर अब तो उसे दुबारा पाने से भी डर रहा हूँ,
शायद मुझे खुद से मिलाने के लिए ही मुझमे जगा था वो,
ज़िन्दगी ज़ीने का सबक सिखाने वाला एहसास था वो,
और आज बीच राह मे मुझे फिर से अकेला छोड़ के,
मुझ पर हसते हुए दूर कहीं जा रहा है वो...

Meri uljhan

मैं रोना चाहता था, पर आंसू बहे नहीं,
मैं रोकना चाहता था, पर कदम आगे बढे नहीं,
चीजों को समझते-२ मैं इतना ज्यादा समझने लगा कि,
आज जब मैं  लौटना चाहता हूँ, मुझे दिल  की गवाही मिलती नहीं..
वो समय भी प्यारा था, जब मेरा दिल मेरे साथ था,
मुझे खुद  पर पूरा विश्वास था,
पर अब तो इतने मानसिक द्वन्द हैं होते कि,
जीत के भी मैं खुद को जीता हुआ मान पाता नहीं,
वो ना समझ सका मेरी इस उलझन को,
मेरी बातों, मेरी आँखों मे छुपी हुई तड़पन. को,
शायद इसीलिए आज जब मैं  ठहरना चाहता हूँ, तब ये कदम रुकते  नहीं,
मैं आज भी रोना चाहता हूँ, पर कमबख्त ये आंसू बहते नहीं..

Chat with Ankit.

Well, this time it is not just an article but actually it is a chat with me which I had today in the early morning. As I have told to you all that “my blog would be the best way to meet me”, so I need to follow my words, so I am telling to you all about this chat.

It was 4:30 a.m. in the morning when I opened my eyes. I found myself sitting in the chair with my cell in my hand. I found that whole night I slept at my chair only, waiting for a call of my friend. Actually last night I had a chat (on my cell) with one of my friend. A friend who is not behaving normally now a days, plenty of thoughts are going on in his mind, really disturbed with the circumstances around him and I being too close to him, want to get him out of this situation. Last night I wanted to talk to him but he told me to talk me later, so I waited for his call but I did not get it. He could have been busy or anything else but as I was waiting and I did not get it, Then I felt bad (little bit) but did not get angry.
Now it was 4:45 a.m. I came out of my hostel, just walking on the road. I went 1-2 months back; this was the time when I had plenty of fights with him. In fact first time ever in my life, I had a fight with any of my friend because first time ever, I started expecting anything from anyone. In fact it was quite surprising for me too, in solitude I used to ask myself “Ankit! What happened to you??how could you expect anything from anyone??you don’t have any right for it and you were not like this..” but never got the solution. As you all know that once you start expecting and if it does not gets fulfilled then you get angry and then use to have a fight with that person. Now I thought that if the last night’s incident (although incident is bit hard word for it, but still I am using it) could have happened a couple of months back then surely I would have got angry and it would have led to fight with my friend but for now I was not angry.
Then again I went one year back, when he was a good friend of mine and found that if it would have happened at that time then neither I would have felt bad nor felt angry. In fact it would not have affected me in any sense.
But today I just felt bad. In my last article I discussed about taking step a behind in friendship and I really shiver when I feel that I am moving that single step in my relationship with him. I shiver because I am too attached to him, can do anything for him, anything at all and I don’t want to lose my friendship with him in any case. Here my friend can definitely get angry with me, because may be, I am not understanding his situation as I can also see that he is not fine at all and this is the thing which is really disturbing me too because I am unable to bring a smile on his face. But here in this article I am just telling about my chat.
I saw in many of the cases that when people get so attached to anyone then they usually have plenty of fights between them..then I used to ask to myself that “yar, jab inke beech mai itna pyaar hai to ye itna jhagda kyun karte hain..pata ni kaisa pyaar hai??” but I never got the answer because I had never been so attached to anyone as I am attached to that friend. So first time I had a fight with any of my friend even at that time I did not realize it, but today when I am on this walk then I realize “jhagdaa hona chaiye..kyunki jhagdaa unhi se hota hai, jinse aap bahut jyada attached hote ho…”
There is difference between ‘jhagdaa’ and ‘ladaai’..In fight..there is always a hope for settlement of everything but in ‘ladaai’ nothing remains to be settled.. ‘jhagdaa’ use to have with your well wishers but ‘ ladaai’ use to have with the people who does not mean anything for you. After each ‘fight’, you always wish that things must be all right like it was before, but after ‘ladaai’ you take it as a closed chapter of your life, if things get settled with the people with whom you had ladaai then it is ok for you but if does not then also you would not bother about it.
I am not saying that now I have maintained a formal relationship with my friend, yes , I am trying to cut down on my expectation levels (up to the ground level).. I don’t know whether I am doing right or wrong…but formal relationship?? no, not at all.. he is my closest friend and would always be, because once I give any place to anyone in my heart (after knowing that person) then it does not change in any case, and I know that I know my friend very well… I can do anything for a single smile on his face and it would always remain with me…it will never change in me and I would always pray for his happiness (from the core of my heart). I don’t know about him, he may have many more friends like me or superior than me, but for me, he is the one and will always be the one and will never like to share his position with anyone.
Now it was 6:30 a.m. in the morning so I thought that I should get back to my hostel..when I was returning back then I din’t have the answer to questions regarding relationship with my friend(may be, I would never have) but at least, I have answer of one of my question (after so many days I got answer of any of my questions so had a kind of satisfaction in my mind) and that was “ jhagdaa hona chahiye..it certainly indicates your closeness with the person. You can get upset by work, mischievous of anyone but you would not go for fight until unless you are not too close with you.. (mind it here I am talking about ‘jhagdaa’ not about ‘ladaai’)..these ‘jhagades’ are the another way of expressing your love, care, attachment for that person and yes, there is nothing wrong in expecting something from someone who is too close to you because this expectation is also a part of your closeness that you have with that person.”
PS: After reading this article, one of my friends asked me that “are you writing this article just because your friend could read it and feel it??” I then replied “no dear! I am just following my words “my blog would be the best way to meet me”, that is what I am doing and my friend would certainly understand my intentions if he understands me too ”.